A few years ago, I celebrated New Years by myself. In our house, I wasn't alone -yet I felt emotionally alone. During the last few months, the father of my kids and I were intensely talking about separating.
Anyone’s who’s been through a break up, you know how that felt and what emotions might be involved after 10 years and 2 kiddos.
I needed to start changing the picture of what a relationship was in my own head. There and then I decided I'm not just going to go to sleep. I'm going to stay up, as long as needed to set my intentions.
Intentions for my future. I'm going to connect to my future - NOW.
Feverishly, I wrote on 4 pages what kind of relationship my future self is in. The dynamics of our relationship, the ways in which we support eachother, all while still maintaining our individuality.
Everything I wished for in a partner - I wished for Myself to provide for my Partner. I let myself Feel what it’s like to have this type of partner in my life. I let myself Feel the Fun, Passion, and Joy for Life, that we both have. I let myself feel Excited about being in this wonderful relationship, while still maintaining our individualities.
No, I definitely wasn’t putting out an order of, ‘Universe, I’m lonely and I want a guy Now!’ Heck no, after a 10 year relationship I definitely wanted to be able to say, ‘I’ve learned from this relationship- which was a huge part of my life, of which I have 2 beautiful children from.’ I was ordering a Divine Partnership.
Tucked away in a night table near my bed....every once and a while I would read it again -soak it up and Feel it all over again. ‘Dang it Feels good to be with my Partner. It feels good to be Me. It Feels good to be Independent, at the same time it Feels really good to be Together.’ (These were all things I was learning)
About 2 years later, the fever came up again...this time in the form of pictures. I needed to put it all into visual form. I went online and searched for pictures that expressed the kind of relationship I am ready for. I painted a Board in a color that represents love, printed out the pictures I found, and pasted them on. I created my Ultimate Vision Board!
This ‘feverish’ feeling I had, was a feeling I have had earlier in life - when I would get into a creative mode. I would ‘feverishly’ create something. A few times I would draw something. Many times in my life, when I’ve gone through this - the object of the emotions ‘surprisingly’ manifested.
For example, when I was 16 I wrote a few pages about my future husband and what kind of life and experiences we’d have. One topic I wrote clearly about, was us eating very little meat, if any. I put it away and forgot about it. Years later, I was making an international move to be with my Vegetarian 1st husband.
Since then, I have learned to be clearer about my intentions. To also trust that I am in alignment with my highest good - and can in this way connect at this time, to that which is already existing for me.
This is major work folks. So far I’ve done this on my own, but I know that it would have been helpful for me to have someone else, who could help me get clearer on my goals and dreams. The thing is, I wouldn’t have been able to talk to just anyone about what I envisioned in my future. Often times, when I would share the visions that I was so excited about, it was with someone who did not/could not ‘see’ it with me. (I also wasn’t feeling ‘solid’ about my own goals, and was actually looking for someone outside of myself to provide me with more trust of what I thought I wanted). And so, many, many times, I had goals and visions, shared them and then let myself become discouraged because I put more worth into what the other person said and felt - for My own Future.
So, if you’re going to share your dreams, goals, vision of Your Future with someone - make sure that they are on your Vibe.
Feel it. Trust it. Allow it.
This is Your Future! If you want it - Create it. Putting your Vision Board together can be an extremely helpful tool.
I’ve come to realize that those feverish episodes are me connecting intensely to the future. If you think of it this way: your future already exists. You just need to connect to it.
Transform Yourself to be Absolutely Ready for the Partner who’s meant to be in your life...Now. Maybe you’re in different corners of the world - but imagine - that you’re both getting ready to be in each others lives. Maybe you both have some stuff to figure out and transform before you meet. Look at your Vision Board every once in a while, give it some love and attention. Chill, relax about it - get yourself ready while they’re getting themselves ready. At the same time - be HAPPY about it. You want to attract a Happy Partner and You also Want to be a Happy Partner!
My go-to Manifestation inspirations
***I learned that I am my own Source of Happiness. That I am strong enough to be independent and happy, with or without a partner by my side***